They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is classic penis vs brain.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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