I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize