If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
