Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
