New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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