Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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