He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
