I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize