i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
