I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
