Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want her autograph on my taint
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
