So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
