No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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