I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
