...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
