belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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