Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
