I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
