You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
