just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're too hungover to prance.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
