from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
