Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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