Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
