I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
