So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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