No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
