Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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