Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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