Three words: puerto rican gang bang
...so i touched it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
