I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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