My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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