Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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