I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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