she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
