i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
