I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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