if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
