He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just want nice things and good sex
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
