i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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