So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
