my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's rum buckets o'clock
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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