Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
