Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
