We're like a lot better than the average bears
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
