I skipped work to stalk him.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
