your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
