Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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