??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
