Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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