Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
These tits shall not be calmed
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
