i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
