I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
