i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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