So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
