i think i have herpe
just one?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
