Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
