MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize