it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
