no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
