I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
