you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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