you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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