Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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