I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
