I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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