But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize