I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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