I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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