I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
