Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize