pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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