we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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