no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize
