Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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