My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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