All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize