I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
